What are anchor words?
Anchor words are short, believable phrases that help you return to a useful perspective when an uncomfortable memory or feeling comes up. They might name a choice you have, a fairer interpretation, or something you can notice in the present.
In DIYEMDR, you enter them alongside a manageable memory cue. The phrase should fit your actual situation—not force you to feel positive.
Examples for real situations
These are starting points, not scripts. Choose an example only if it feels accurate for you, and adjust the wording to your own experience.
After criticism: You replay a coworker’s harsh comments long after a meeting.
I can consider the useful feedback without accepting every judgment.
After freezing: You regret going quiet when someone raised their voice.
My body reacted quickly. I can decide what I want to say now.
When setting boundaries: Someone is disappointed because you said no.
Their disappointment can be real without making my boundary wrong.
After a mistake: One awkward moment turns into “I always mess things up.”
I can correct what I can without judging my whole character.
Before a difficult reply: You keep drafting responses in your head.
I can read the message once, pause, and choose how to respond.
When grief surfaces: You feel guilty for enjoying part of a day while missing someone.
I can miss them and still appreciate this moment.
When thoughts race: You feel pulled into what might happen next.
I can feel the chair beneath me before deciding my next step.
After being excluded: A missed invitation brings back an old sense of not belonging.
This invitation doesn’t determine who values me or where I belong.
How to choose your own
Answer the thought that is bothering you, rather than choosing a generic affirmation.
Use what you can honestly believe today. A modest statement often works better than a sweeping promise.
Choose one brief sentence you can recall easily. An observation or a small next step is enough.
For example: Instead of “Nobody will ever reject me”, try “Rejection may hurt, but it doesn’t decide my worth.”
Are these EMDR positive cognitions?
Not exactly. In formal EMDR therapy, a positive cognition is a target-related adaptive belief selected with a therapist and assessed for how true it feels. DIYEMDR uses “anchor words” more broadly as self-guided grounding or perspective-taking prompts; they are not a replacement for that clinical process.
Try an anchor in DIYEMDR
Choose a manageable cue and enter one believable phrase in the Anchor Words field. Read the user guide before using the exercise.