A useful memory cue is a short reminder of a particular moment that still brings up a feeling or reaction.
Think of it as a bookmark, not a detailed account. A few recognizable words can be enough to identify what you want to reflect on without writing out everything that happened.
From a broad experience to a specific cue
These examples show how ordinary situations can be narrowed to one recognizable moment. They’re illustrations, not recommended targets for everyone.
“I’m terrible at public speaking.”
“The moment I lost my place during my presentation.”
“I never do well in job interviews.”
“Reading the rejection email after my final interview.”
“I always feel bad after disagreements.”
“Hearing ‘You never listen’ during our conversation at lunch.”
“Work messages make me anxious.”
“Seeing three urgent messages appear just before I logged off.”
“I find appointments stressful.”
“The moment I couldn’t find the words to explain my symptoms at the appointment.”
Notice the difference: each revised cue points to something that happened, rather than making a sweeping statement about yourself. You can use an image, a few spoken words, or a physical sensation linked to a particular moment.
Three checks before choosing your cue
Can you identify one moment, image, sentence, or sensation rather than an entire relationship or period of your life?
Can you briefly remember it while staying aware of your surroundings? If it quickly feels overwhelming, numb, or unreal, don’t work on it alone.
A few words are usually sufficient to recognize the event. Avoid writing a detailed narrative or unnecessary personal information.
Entering a cue in DIYEMDR
In the first step, Target, enter the short reminder in your own words. You don’t need to explain why the moment matters or describe every associated feeling.
Example only — this is an illustration of the field, not a live form.
The next step lets you add separate anchor words that help you stay connected to the present. Your cue identifies the moment; your anchor provides a stabilizing perspective.
Not for independent practice. In formal EMDR, therapists select and assess targets as part of a structured treatment plan. A trained clinician can help determine when and how to approach severe or complex trauma.
For self-guided reflection, avoid material that triggers flashbacks, dissociation, overwhelming distress, or a sense that the event is happening again. If you’re currently unsafe, address your immediate safety rather than using memory exercises to manage the situation.
Ready to explore DIYEMDR?
Once you’ve identified a manageable cue, explore DIYEMDR’s structured self-help exercise. You can pause or stop whenever you need to.
Explore DIYEMDR →